Talking Money With Your Honey
Love and money. Oh my. Now this is a topic that millions of people can relate to! The American Psychological Association’s annual studies on relationship stressors finds year after year that money is one of the top causes of fights… and one of the top causes of divorce. A big part of this is because while money will play a big (even daily!) role in your relationship, it’s not an element that society encourages us to think about before getting married, moving in together, or being in any type of a committed relationship. To help you ensure money doesn’t muck up your relationship, here are some useful resources!
Books
One of the other books I’ve co-written is Get Financially Naked: how to talk money with your honey. My favorite part of this book is the Financial Compatibility Quiz. If you don’t feel like reading the whole book (although I hope you do!) you can download the quiz here. The quiz helps each of you assess your financial: knowledge, interest, and behavior. It’s set up in a non-judgement manner so that you can use the comparison of your answers as a springboard for having an intimate conversation about a generally awkward topic.
These days more and more women are finding themselves not only the co-breadwinner but the primary breadwinner. This brings a whole new money dynamic to relationships. Financial guru Farnoosh Torabi’s book When She Makes More: the truth about navigating love and life for a new generation of women, is a must-read. And since I have a hunch you will enjoy learning from Farnoosh, you may want to check out her award-winning podcast, SoMoney, as well!
Another money and relationship go-to book I love to recommend is Breaking Money Silence: how to shatter taboos, talk more openly about finances, and live a richer life by Kathleen Burns Kingsbury. If reading personal finance books about this topic is not your thing, Kathleen has a delightful podcast by the same name! Kathleen is a wealth psychology expert and her Breaking Money Silence Podcast adds another wonderful dimension to this topic.
Apps
I’m starting to see more financial apps in the “love & money” space. Honeyfi provides an easy interface for both you and your partner to see your combined accounts, transactions, budget, etc. Many people find the kind of financial transparency embedded in this kind of aggregation app to dramatically reduce stress,and make it easier to use specific examples when wanting to talk about areas of potential money disagreements.
Another intriguing offering is Zeta – a budgeting app for couples whose tagline is “mastering money as a team.” I’m not quite ready to give a thumbs up to their “joint cards” offering as I’d like to see more of a track record here, I love the articles and podcasts you can find in the magazine section of their website. Lots of poignant real life examples, especially for those in their 20s and 30s.